The Best Haunted Rowhouse in D.C.

I haven’t conducted a methodical search, but Brad Burke’s haunt on Neal Street, between West Virginia Ave and Montello Ave, definitely has some of the most intense Halloween decorations in the city. Compare the photos here to these utterly average offerings from years past — there’s no contest. I spoke with Brad over the phone Thursday and he told me how the haunt came together and how the pandemic is affecting this year’s Halloween. 

Let’s get the comments going: what are you doing for Halloween this year? Will you take kids trick-or-treating or give out candy?

Burke, a white resident of Trinidad for eight years, is a Gallaudet grad and works in sign language interpretation under a Department of Defense agency. “I love horror films and suspense and thrillers,” he says. He made his own prop tombstones and decorative signs growing up in Cape Coral, Florida. “I always wanted to do big haunts,” says Burke.

When he moved into his Trinidad rowhouse, Burke began to accumulate decorations, starting with an animatronic Grim Reaper. Over the years he bought more and more animatronics, building a collection that has spilled over to the sidewalk and into this next door neighbor’s yard. Burke says that last year he asked himself, “why don’t I just go over the sidewalk and make a tunnel, so it makes a walk-through haunt experience?” Technically it’s not an enclosed structure, but the tunnel creates an unmissable facade for the whole block.

On weekend nights, Burke uses a fog machine, which has caused the fire department to drive by and investigate every year, he says. “This year they sent a big firetruck,” says Burke. “It stopped in front of the house and you could hear the firefighters saying, ‘that’s cool, that’s badass.’”

But the largest response comes from kids, especially trick-or-treaters on Halloween. “The kids love it,” he says. “There’s a line that extends three, four rowhouses down.” Burke, and friends who help with crowd control, let in children in groups of three or four so they can experience the haunt and get their candy. Memorably, last year one little boy who looked to be about seven years old was bravely “cursing up a storm.” Burke popped out in costume, causing the boy to drop to the floor in fear and run out before he could receive any candy.

Initially, Burke thought that this year might be compromised by concerns about the pandemic. But he reconsidered, and now says “it’s perfect for being socially distant.” Burke says that he is open to trick-or-treaters on Halloween and that he and his friends will be masking themselves appropriately. “If kids want to come by, it’ll be up to their parents if they want to send them out,” says Burke, comparing candy-giving to other quick, outdoor interactions we’ve all had since the pandemic began. “I’m definitely going to make sure we’re distanced, but I want the entire experience to be there.”

Burke has changed the haunt from last year to keep it surprising and encourages everyone to come take a look any night from now through Halloween. Walking into the yard and right up to the door is welcome, says Burke. He enjoys watching people interacting with his decorations so much that he sleeps downstairs on the couch with the window open to see and hear it. The full display, including fog, can be seen on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights except when rain is forecast.

Photos courtesy of Brad Burke.